Not Quite Donne

Reveals are up for the percy_ficathon! Bwahahahahaha, I guessed three fics correctly. I pwn. So I think it was insanely obvious which one I wrote, but it obviously wasn't because ZOMG, someone thought florahart, violet_quill or emiime might have written it which flatters me TO NO END. *squees* So I wrote this for me but it ended up fitting an abandoned person in the fest, hence why it went up there. The fic I was actually writing for the fest (my recipient dropped out) is still in progress - it's a long one!

Title: Adonis Departed
Author: NQDonne
Pairing: Percy/Charlie, Percy/OC & Charlie/OC mentioned
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Percy discovers Charlie is gay when he walks in on him, balls-deep inside a fair-haired boy from the village, thrusting as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Word Count: 5,300
Disclaimer: I don't own, and everyone (fictional!) involved is over the age of 18.
Warnings: incest, dirty talk
Author's Notes: Covers CoS – pre-OotP canon, the bulk of it takes place between GoF and OotP. Thank you to my beta and hand holder emiime and to snegurochka_lee for making my YEAR by praising my Charlie and reccing this. I died of squee. Also, fun fact: the porn that is referenced in here is a REAL porn, that was released in 1995. Yes, I'm so anal I cross-referenced my porn to make sure it was canon.


( Percy is sixteen and Charlie is home from Romania for the weekend, paying their mother the dutiful visits she thrives on (and nags about if they don't happen frequently enough), though Percy now rather thinks his visit may have more to do with the boy who writhed so happily under his cock. )

Clearly I FAIL at cross-posting. But people aren't really leaving LJ, and it's likely I will just end up putting fic on here, sigh. I don't know man. IJ needs to get prettier.

Okay, this was one of the most bizarrely organic things I've ever written. Just kind of wrote itself. I like it entirely too much. Rather dark, but plz to be giving it a chance. And comment so I don't go hide in a dark hole of "omgican'tbelieveiwrotethis" and never come out.

Title: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Author: NQDonne
Pairing(s): Percy/Harry, Percy/Zacharias, Percy/others implied
Rating: hard R, mostly for language and sexual innuendo
Summary: Percy keeps a list of targets folded and tucked safely within his inside robe pocket. He enjoys a thrill of satisfaction each time he takes it out, unfolds it and crosses out another name, noting beside it in parentheses the cause of death.
Warnings: assassin!Percy, dub-con, major and minor character death, AU (uses some DH canon but disregards things so far as who lives/dies at the end is concerned)
Word Count: circa 2,450
Author's Notes: While this was born of my assassin!Percy in Life on Mars, this does not take place in the LoM verse. This is a darker, more bad-ass!Percy and the story uses a different canon timeline as that piece. Thanks to violet_quill for developing this idea with me over dinner last December. Ultimately I was the one who ended up writing it, though she might use it at some point in the future, lol. Live on bad-ass!Percy, live on… I was too impatient to wait for my normal Calvary of betas, so thank you to my London ladies lizardspots and raelinschaos for looking over it for me.

( The only person who knows about Percy's... extracurricular activities is Severus Snape, once a spy for Dumbledore and now an excellent handler, though for whom he's handling Percy is unclear. )

So you want to read my fic? Wow, you're brave. :P Here it all is, organized by pairing so you can pick your poison. Be warned that not all my fics are created equal, especially since some involved slightly emo dabbling in new pairings/genres. I have stars next to my personal favorites, in case you're curious. Most recent stories at the top (and they tend to be the better ones :D)

The original postings of all pre-September fic is hosted on LJ - you are free to pop on over there to read and comment. All stories with questionable content will now be hosted here, and only posted on IJ.

( Non-HP and/or HP crossover fic )

( Harry/Draco )

( Percy Fic )

Title: Bywyd ar Mawrth (Life on Mars) – 5 of 5
Author: NQDonne (featuring work safe art by lizardspots)
Summary: When former Death Eater informants start turning up dead, Auror Harry Potter must take star Daily Prophet reporter (and owner) Draco Malfoy into protective custody.
Rating: NC-17.
Pairing: Draco/Harry + excessive appearances by Zacharias Smith
Word Count: 27,408 (total), 6,150 this part
Author’s Notes: This chapter has been a long time in the making – I've had it plotted for seven months, but modding fests and writing fest fic sidetracked me considerably. This story is now, obviously, AU to Deathly Hallows canon. But you know what? I like my version better :P I wrote the epilogue seven months ago, long before the third, fourth and fifth chapters. So, like JKR, I have been working towards this epilogue. Let's hope it doesn't suck as much :P Thanks to my beta extraordinaire silentauror, to sillyshy for prodding me until I finished this and to lizardspots for illustrating the epilogue.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

( It was dark when Harry woke up. )

Stolen from emiime:

When you see this, post a little weensy excerpt from as many random works-in-progress as you can find lying around. Who knows? Maybe inspiration will burst forth and do something, um, inspiration-y.

Most of these I plan on finishing...

from the Snupin sequel to my chocolate aphrodisiac story I wrote for last year's H/D Hols. This one should be finished and posted this Christmas.

( Snape/Lupin, Snape's the first speaker here )

from the H/D sequel to the series of Harry/Remus, Draco/Remus/Harry ficlets I wrote for pervy_werewolf. Will finish it as soon as my porn muse comes back (and I'm done with hd_remix).

( Harry/Draco, pre-pr0n, Draco is the first speaker )

from a Charlie/Oliver, voyeur!Percy I started, based on my own prompt for Percy Ficathon. Yes, I'm lame and started writing my own prompt. Whoops! But I do actually intend to finish this one, just not until the ficathon is over.

( ickle 13-year-old Percy thoughts, before it becomes MADE OF WRONG )

All the others I'd like to post are either for anon fests or tiny ideas I might like to use for anon fests down the road (as a pinch hitter, for example), which saddens me to no end.

But I think things may have cleared up significantly AND I'm flying home tomorrow, so I just might post Life on Mars chapter five tonight. So there shall be more fic :D

So hd_holidays reveals are up, so here be my fic (fake-cut b/c I want to keep all my comments in one place and I can't be arsed to repost both parts here :D). Most of you who know me could probably spot mine from two miles away. Yeah, um, sorry... NQ = Obvious liek woah. Everyone else, plz to be reading. Yes it IS an H/D fic with a lot of Percy in it, but it seems from the original comments that I made most people who read it like Percy, so even the Percy-wary can read.

Author: NQDonne
Title: Pret-a-Partenaire
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Draco/Percy, Harry/hot bartender, Draco/hot bartender :P
Summary: Of all the sandwich joints in London, he had to walk into Harry's.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): clubbing, voyeurism, an unrealistic number of doors left ajar, wanking, elevator sex, snark and banter, backstory that should probably be there ignored to preserve my sanity (including an almost unbelievable lack of Hermione and Ron), Starbucks conspiracy theories and excessive love for Pret-a-Manger
Word Count: approx. 20,600
Author's Notes: Written for the 2007 summer round of hd_holidays for all-around Percy fangirl floweringjudas. Fangirled/proofread by lizardspots, raelinschaos, silentauror, eloiselovelace and emiime. As you can tell, this turned out VERY Percy-centric, but I am wicked proud of it and, well, look for more fic in this 'verse, namely Percy/Hot bartender and Harry/Draco/Percy. FYI: Pret-a-Manger is a London-based sandwich chain that specialises in healthy sandwiches/lunch food prepared daily. I <3 it (and so does Harry). And Starbucks white caffè mocha = white chocolate mocha in the US. And Gabriel? Why, yes, he is based on Sylar/Gabriel Grey from Heroes! *cough*

( The first time Harry saw Draco Malfoy at Pret-a-Manger, sitting at a corner table eating a sandwich, he merely told the cashier in a low voice to make it for take-away, dropped three pound coins into his palm and walked back out, for once thankful for the busy lunch crowd. He took his tuna mayonnaise back to the Ministry and ate at his desk, cursing the poncy git for infringing on his favourite lunch spot. )

Yay, crossover_hp reveal!!! So, yes, I think it was glaringly obvious which one I wrote, especially considering I wibbled about writing a Harry/Ianto a few months back. Plus, you know, the other eight million things I put in here that scream OMG NQDONNE WROTE THIS (I did everything but mention Tesco and Daniel Radcliffe, srsly). But anyway, I am ridiculously proud of this story - I think it's one of the best things I've ever written, present tense narration and all - so I'm going to be needy and petulant and tell you all to READ THIS FIC OR MAKE ME CRY. *ahem* Srsly: the porn is hot, I swear. Lots and lots of porn. And Welsh people. FTW.

Title: They Come in Pairs
Author: NQDonne
Recipient: mediasavant
Pairing: Harry/Ianto, Jack/Ianto, Harry/Remus implied
Fandoms: Harry Potter/Torchwood
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He knows his name is Harry Potter, that he is twenty-six years old and that at some point five or six years ago, he came into possession of something Torchwood wants, that Jack wants. But Ianto plays dumb, and asks him all the right questions.
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire first series of Torchwood (esp. They Keep Killing Suzie), particularly Ianto's plotline.
Word Count: 9,500
Author's Notes: Written for the 2007 crossover_hp fest. Thanks to lizardspots for squeeing like mad every step of the way, and to violet_quill for giving me the opportunity and motivation to write this.

( They have dead girlfriends to bond over, and Ianto laughs because this is going to be easier than he thought. )

*fake cut because I'd like to collect comments all in one place*

FEEDBACK OR DIE! :P

p.s. I want Harry/Ianto to happen for reals now. Theirloveissocodependentandneedy!

So here's the other story I wrote for hp_springsmut - my baby and the reason I am like IN LOVE with Zacharias Smith now, lol. Have decided not to post my alternate version for now, just because the differences are quite minimal and I like the final version better, I think. So enjoy! And comment! I am a comment h0r! :P

Title: Practical Lessons in Auror Methodology
Author NQDonne
Pairing(s): Harry/Zacharias, Ron/Hermione implied
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Harry's in his last year of training with just one thing standing in the way of becoming a full-fledged Auror – partnering with Zacharias Smith.
Warnings: Rentboys, car sex, mild sexual violence and rimming :D
Author's Notes: Written for msharrypotter in the 2007 hp_springsmut fest. So yes, folks, this would be the reason I am now obsessed with Zacharias Smith. I think this might also possibly be the longest Harry/Zach ever written, lol. Big thanks to silentauror and violet_quill for betaing, and to lizardspots for both coming up with the title and squeeing on cue over messaging sessions ♥.
Word Count: 13,300

( Harry fidgeted in the hard, plastic-backed chair as Kingsley droned on about 'new situations,' 'endurance and tests of character' and the 'tough road ahead.' )

Continue to Part Two

Part Two of Practical Lessons in Auror Methodology, continued from here

( They spent that next month fastidiously avoiding one another.o )

So, yes! Reveals are DONE, so now I can post my fics here and be all non-anon and comment-whore-like :D For this fic, I'll just link to the hp_springsmut post, because there are some lovely comments on there and it'll be nice to have them all in one place. I'll post my other story, Practical Lessons in Auror Methodology (Harry/Zach), here on my journal since it's ueber long. It will also have an "alternate ending" of sorts, since I wrote one version, rechecked my prompt, hit myself over the head for including some things, and rewrote a key scene. I thought it'd be fun to post both :D But without further adieu - my pinch hit!

Title: WAGs to Riches
Author: NQDonne
Pairing: Percy/Oliver, mentions of Charlie/OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: How the boy Percy had idly daydreamed about in school had ended up one of the country's top rugby players was something Percy left up to bad karma.
Warning(s): non-magical AU, excessive British pop culture references + one slightly maniacal cat
Word Count: @ 9,000
Author's Notes: Written for best_of_five as part of the 2007 hp_springsmut fest. Thanks to lizardspots for the squee and poking and to eloiselovelace for the emergency (and encouraging!) beta. Also thank you to everyone who left comments on this story during the fest and to those who recced! I was *thrilled* to see people liked this, especially those of you who write Percy whom I admire so much! Some of your recs made me blush ♥

( Percy had always imagined he'd end up in banking, like his brother Bill, or at least in politics, like his father. )

Title: Sarnie Before Lights Out
Author: NQDonne
Fandom: Life on Mars
Pairing: Sam/Annie/Gene
Summary: It's countdown to 2 p.m. and Sam, Annie and the Guv can't resist. Missing scene from LoM S1Ep6.
Warning: This is pure, filthy porn. Dear God.
Author's Notes: This is for lizardspots who in the space of three days has watched the entire first series of Life on Mars and has convinced me that there is GAY and PORN everywhere. Everything herein, including the title, is her fault! :P

***

( Gene takes Annie from behind, running his hands over her arse as he pumps into her furiously.  )

So, yes, this is my hd_hols pinch hit.

( old skool emo under the cut )

Now, put on your Christmas cap and get ready for some cracky porn. Good year round!

Title: How Chocolate Saved Christmas (as far as Harry Potter is concerned)
Author: NQDonne
Recipient: loveless_x
Summary: Remus Lupin mistakenly gifts his friends with some aphrodisiac-laced chocolate. Harry’s the first victim.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,800
Kinks: dirty talk, frottage, sex in a broom closet :D
Author’s Note: Written for the Winter 2006 round of hd_holidays. loveless_x - I’ve tried my best to hit most of your buttons, and I hope you like it! Please forgive the quasi-crack-humor-PWPness of it all… I tried to go to the Department of UST and Backstory but the boys just really, really wanted to shag. :P A big thank you to my betas - florahart, starrysummer, lauriegilbert and violet_quill.

***

( Remus Lupin loved three things: chocolate, making others happy and Christmas )

I started a Snupin sequel (because you know you want to see what happened when Snape got his gift), but as this is going up so late after Christmas, honestly, it'll have to wait until next year. Lame, but true.

Take a break from the wank and read about wanking! :D

Title: Cedric Diggory – Gay Hustler
Author: NQDonne
Pairing: Harry/Cedric, Cedric/every male at Hogwarts implied :P
Rating: R
Summary: Harry becomes movie!Cedric's latest customer :P
Warnings: quasi-chan. Harry is 14 and Cedric is 17, as this is set during GoF. But they're also not, erm, going “whole-hog” (Flannery O'Connor reference! :P) so no worries :D

Author's Notes: This is based on the idea that, hello!, movie!Cedric is totally a gay hustler. That scene on the bridge? Random, totally gay, overly enthusiastic Hufflepuff #1 embracing Cedric in the Great Hall? Pretty Hufflepuff Boy #2 (or is that ALSO Hufflepuff #1?) with his head in Cedric's lap? OMG, gayhustler!Cedric is SO movie canon. And, because of that, I've pulled the lines at the beginning and action descriptions right from the movie. But, really, the important thing is that this is for lizardspots who I know wants to see some Cedric/Harry, so hopefully she's not opposed to a little humour/crack. Happy Birthday lizard!

***

( Had Cedric Diggory just propositioned him? )

Title: Bywyd ar Mawrth (Life on Mars) – 4 of 5
Author: NQDonne
Summary: When former Death Eater informants start turning up dead, Auror Harry Potter must take star Daily Prophet reporter (and owner) Draco Malfoy into protective custody.
Rating: NC-17.
Kinks: FROTTAGE, RIMMING, BOTTOM!Harry ;)
Pairing: Draco/Harry + excessive appearances by Zacharias Smith
Word Count: 8,284
Author’s Notes: A big thank you to my betas silentauror, violet_quill, lauriegilbert, and to anise_anise for making the porn not suck (and for providing some seriously awesome dialogue in parts). :D Forgive me, but this the LOOOONG chapter, but there's also lots and lots of sex. :P

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

***

( Harry awoke the next morning to a strangled cry and his bedroom door being thrown open by an enraged Malfoy )

Comments make the world go round.

Sorry for the delay between chapters - real life drama + holiday fest beta reading got me distracted (oh, and did I mention the totally RANDOM Remus-porn I've been writing? OMGWTF?). But here we go again on Life on Mars - I really love this chapter, so I'm going to be blatant and shameful and tell you so, so maybe you'll all read it and love it as much as I do. *cough* I'm also hoping the current lull in H/D fic on Smutmas and hd_holidays will help... So, yeah. Right. *cough*

Title: Bywyd ar Mawrth (Life on Mars) – 3 of 5
Author: NQDonne
Summary: When former Death Eater informants start turning up dead, Auror Harry Potter must take star Daily Prophet reporter (and owner) Draco Malfoy into protective custody.
Rating: NC-17.
Kinks: WANKING, VOYEURISM (yes, this part has smut, OMG!)
Pairing: Draco/Harry + excessive appearances by Zacharias Smith
Word Count: 5,100
Author’s Notes: A big thank you to my betas silentauror and lauriegilbert, and to starrysummer for putting up with all my exhaustive plotting sessions over IM. :D Please forgive the lack of Harvard commas. It's been ingrained in me, I'm afraid :P

Chapter One | Chapter Two

***

( When had this turned into the gay inquisition? )

YOU KNOW I'M A COMMENT WHORE!!!1!!1!!11!! :P

OMG, fic! Here is the promised prequel to Bargaining Chip, aka: more PWP, cracky goodness.

Okay, now let's just hope I nailed the window between fest posts, lol. *checks her f-list for Anon-fest-fic-of-joy/doom* Oh, and warning: fake cut :D

Title: Harry Potter – (Virgin) God of Sex
Author: NQDonne
Summary: Harry's saved the world and returned to Hogwarts, but somehow has not yet managed to get laid. He decides Remus can help him change that.
Pairing: Remus/Harry (with mentions of Draco at the close)
Rating: NC-17
Kinks: first time, dirty talk
Author's Note(s): Written for the Christmas Kink 2006 fest, as a smutty stocking stuffer for letmypidgeonsgo, who requested Remus/harry - dirty talk and/or first time. Kind-of prequel/companion piece to “Bargaining Chip.” Well, the bunny just wouldn't die. I felt like Harry's side of the story needed a bit of explaining, so here it is. Mostly, I felt the need to justify why Harry is such a wanton slut in aforementioned fic. Proof that I just cannot let a PWP die. Thanks to coffeejunkii and violet_quill for the beta.

( How he had made it through the war and come frighteningly close to death without a shag, Harry didn't know )

Comment, bitaches! :P

This is for letmypidgeonsgo who actually inspired me to write my first ever Remus smut (she deserves a medal!). Note the fake cut, as it needs to stay posted on pervy_werewolf for the time being, as it is part of their December stocking stuffer fest.

Note: there's a sequel. *cough*

Title: Bargaining Chip
Author: NQDonne
Summary: Forced to go back to Hogwarts post-war to finish his NEWTs, Draco finds a way to entertain himself.
Pairing: Remus/Draco/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Kinks: voyeurism (as requested!) plus dirty talk just cause I know letmypidgeonsgo likes it that way ;)
Author's Note(s): Written for the Christmas Kink 2006 fest, as a smutty stocking stuffer for letmypidgeonsgo. I took her prompt Remus/Draco/(?) - voyeurism, either involving just the 2, or them together with a 3rd person coming along, asked for a wee bit of guidance, and then threw in the kink from her other request, just for kicks :D. Thanks to violet_quill for cracking the whip on word count and getting me down a few hundred words and to coffeejunkii and sheepybunbuns for combing over it as well. Please forgive the blatant PWP-ness of it all. The word count made me do it! :P

***

( Draco couldn’t believe he was back at Hogwarts, of all places )

... please read and comment! I need some ego stroking ;)

Note that this will now be out of five. I couldn't tie everything up in four chapters. The boys just took too long to get to shagging :D

Title: Bywyd ar Mawrth (Life on Mars) – 2 of 5
Author: NQDonne
Summary: When former Death Eater informants start turning up dead, Auror Harry Potter must take star Daily Prophet reporter (and owner) Draco Malfoy into protective custody.
Rating: NC-17.
Pairing: Draco/Harry + excessive appearances by Zacharias Smith
Word Count: 3,996
Author’s Notes: A big thank you to my betas silentauror and lauriegilbert, and to starrysummer for putting up with all my exhaustive plotting sessions over IM. :D Please forgive the lack of Harvard commas. It's been ingrained in me, I'm afraid :P

Chapter One

***

( 'What? Does the great Harry Potter also speak Welsh?' Malfoy retorted, eyeing a cow by the side of the road and giving it his patented death glare. )

Comment me!

I know what you're thinking, "OMG she wrote fic? Like new fic? Fic that has a foreseeable ending? And a not-so-fanon!Draco (kind of)? WTF?" Well, yes. And, um, here's the first part. This may end up five parts instead of four, but no more than that. I've written the epilogue and everything, just to make sure it gets finished. Enjoy!

Title: bywyd ar Mawrth (Life on Mars) – 1 of 5
Author: NQDonne
Summary: When former Death Eater informants start turning up dead, Auror Harry Potter must take star Daily Prophet reporter (and owner) Draco Malfoy into protective custody.
Rating: eventual R/NC-17.
Pairing(s): Draco/Harry, fleeting mentions of Ron/Hermione and Snape/Lupin
Word Count: 3,896
Author’s Notes: A big thank you to my betas silentauror and lauriegilbert, and to starrysummer for putting up with all my exhaustive plotting sessions over IM. :D

***

( Harry groaned and set down that morning’s issue of The Daily Prophet, pushing Draco Malfoy’s smirking visage away as it simpered coyly from the mug credit that accompanied the front page article... )

I am a comment h0r, so please comment :P