Not Quite Donne

So hd_holidays reveals are up, so here be my fic (fake-cut b/c I want to keep all my comments in one place and I can't be arsed to repost both parts here :D). Most of you who know me could probably spot mine from two miles away. Yeah, um, sorry... NQ = Obvious liek woah. Everyone else, plz to be reading. Yes it IS an H/D fic with a lot of Percy in it, but it seems from the original comments that I made most people who read it like Percy, so even the Percy-wary can read.

Author: NQDonne
Title: Pret-a-Partenaire
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Draco/Percy, Harry/hot bartender, Draco/hot bartender :P
Summary: Of all the sandwich joints in London, he had to walk into Harry's.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): clubbing, voyeurism, an unrealistic number of doors left ajar, wanking, elevator sex, snark and banter, backstory that should probably be there ignored to preserve my sanity (including an almost unbelievable lack of Hermione and Ron), Starbucks conspiracy theories and excessive love for Pret-a-Manger
Word Count: approx. 20,600
Author's Notes: Written for the 2007 summer round of hd_holidays for all-around Percy fangirl floweringjudas. Fangirled/proofread by lizardspots, raelinschaos, silentauror, eloiselovelace and emiime. As you can tell, this turned out VERY Percy-centric, but I am wicked proud of it and, well, look for more fic in this 'verse, namely Percy/Hot bartender and Harry/Draco/Percy. FYI: Pret-a-Manger is a London-based sandwich chain that specialises in healthy sandwiches/lunch food prepared daily. I <3 it (and so does Harry). And Starbucks white caffè mocha = white chocolate mocha in the US. And Gabriel? Why, yes, he is based on Sylar/Gabriel Grey from Heroes! *cough*

( The first time Harry saw Draco Malfoy at Pret-a-Manger, sitting at a corner table eating a sandwich, he merely told the cashier in a low voice to make it for take-away, dropped three pound coins into his palm and walked back out, for once thankful for the busy lunch crowd. He took his tuna mayonnaise back to the Ministry and ate at his desk, cursing the poncy git for infringing on his favourite lunch spot. )

So here's the other story I wrote for hp_springsmut - my baby and the reason I am like IN LOVE with Zacharias Smith now, lol. Have decided not to post my alternate version for now, just because the differences are quite minimal and I like the final version better, I think. So enjoy! And comment! I am a comment h0r! :P

Title: Practical Lessons in Auror Methodology
Author NQDonne
Pairing(s): Harry/Zacharias, Ron/Hermione implied
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Harry's in his last year of training with just one thing standing in the way of becoming a full-fledged Auror – partnering with Zacharias Smith.
Warnings: Rentboys, car sex, mild sexual violence and rimming :D
Author's Notes: Written for msharrypotter in the 2007 hp_springsmut fest. So yes, folks, this would be the reason I am now obsessed with Zacharias Smith. I think this might also possibly be the longest Harry/Zach ever written, lol. Big thanks to silentauror and violet_quill for betaing, and to lizardspots for both coming up with the title and squeeing on cue over messaging sessions ♥.
Word Count: 13,300

( Harry fidgeted in the hard, plastic-backed chair as Kingsley droned on about 'new situations,' 'endurance and tests of character' and the 'tough road ahead.' )

Continue to Part Two

Part Two of Practical Lessons in Auror Methodology, continued from here

( They spent that next month fastidiously avoiding one another.o )

So, yes! Reveals are DONE, so now I can post my fics here and be all non-anon and comment-whore-like :D For this fic, I'll just link to the hp_springsmut post, because there are some lovely comments on there and it'll be nice to have them all in one place. I'll post my other story, Practical Lessons in Auror Methodology (Harry/Zach), here on my journal since it's ueber long. It will also have an "alternate ending" of sorts, since I wrote one version, rechecked my prompt, hit myself over the head for including some things, and rewrote a key scene. I thought it'd be fun to post both :D But without further adieu - my pinch hit!

Title: WAGs to Riches
Author: NQDonne
Pairing: Percy/Oliver, mentions of Charlie/OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: How the boy Percy had idly daydreamed about in school had ended up one of the country's top rugby players was something Percy left up to bad karma.
Warning(s): non-magical AU, excessive British pop culture references + one slightly maniacal cat
Word Count: @ 9,000
Author's Notes: Written for best_of_five as part of the 2007 hp_springsmut fest. Thanks to lizardspots for the squee and poking and to eloiselovelace for the emergency (and encouraging!) beta. Also thank you to everyone who left comments on this story during the fest and to those who recced! I was *thrilled* to see people liked this, especially those of you who write Percy whom I admire so much! Some of your recs made me blush ♥

( Percy had always imagined he'd end up in banking, like his brother Bill, or at least in politics, like his father. )

Take a break from the wank and read about wanking! :D

Title: Cedric Diggory – Gay Hustler
Author: NQDonne
Pairing: Harry/Cedric, Cedric/every male at Hogwarts implied :P
Rating: R
Summary: Harry becomes movie!Cedric's latest customer :P
Warnings: quasi-chan. Harry is 14 and Cedric is 17, as this is set during GoF. But they're also not, erm, going “whole-hog” (Flannery O'Connor reference! :P) so no worries :D

Author's Notes: This is based on the idea that, hello!, movie!Cedric is totally a gay hustler. That scene on the bridge? Random, totally gay, overly enthusiastic Hufflepuff #1 embracing Cedric in the Great Hall? Pretty Hufflepuff Boy #2 (or is that ALSO Hufflepuff #1?) with his head in Cedric's lap? OMG, gayhustler!Cedric is SO movie canon. And, because of that, I've pulled the lines at the beginning and action descriptions right from the movie. But, really, the important thing is that this is for lizardspots who I know wants to see some Cedric/Harry, so hopefully she's not opposed to a little humour/crack. Happy Birthday lizard!

***

( Had Cedric Diggory just propositioned him? )

OMG, fic! Here is the promised prequel to Bargaining Chip, aka: more PWP, cracky goodness.

Okay, now let's just hope I nailed the window between fest posts, lol. *checks her f-list for Anon-fest-fic-of-joy/doom* Oh, and warning: fake cut :D

Title: Harry Potter – (Virgin) God of Sex
Author: NQDonne
Summary: Harry's saved the world and returned to Hogwarts, but somehow has not yet managed to get laid. He decides Remus can help him change that.
Pairing: Remus/Harry (with mentions of Draco at the close)
Rating: NC-17
Kinks: first time, dirty talk
Author's Note(s): Written for the Christmas Kink 2006 fest, as a smutty stocking stuffer for letmypidgeonsgo, who requested Remus/harry - dirty talk and/or first time. Kind-of prequel/companion piece to “Bargaining Chip.” Well, the bunny just wouldn't die. I felt like Harry's side of the story needed a bit of explaining, so here it is. Mostly, I felt the need to justify why Harry is such a wanton slut in aforementioned fic. Proof that I just cannot let a PWP die. Thanks to coffeejunkii and violet_quill for the beta.

( How he had made it through the war and come frighteningly close to death without a shag, Harry didn't know )

Comment, bitaches! :P

This is for letmypidgeonsgo who actually inspired me to write my first ever Remus smut (she deserves a medal!). Note the fake cut, as it needs to stay posted on pervy_werewolf for the time being, as it is part of their December stocking stuffer fest.

Note: there's a sequel. *cough*

Title: Bargaining Chip
Author: NQDonne
Summary: Forced to go back to Hogwarts post-war to finish his NEWTs, Draco finds a way to entertain himself.
Pairing: Remus/Draco/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Kinks: voyeurism (as requested!) plus dirty talk just cause I know letmypidgeonsgo likes it that way ;)
Author's Note(s): Written for the Christmas Kink 2006 fest, as a smutty stocking stuffer for letmypidgeonsgo. I took her prompt Remus/Draco/(?) - voyeurism, either involving just the 2, or them together with a 3rd person coming along, asked for a wee bit of guidance, and then threw in the kink from her other request, just for kicks :D. Thanks to violet_quill for cracking the whip on word count and getting me down a few hundred words and to coffeejunkii and sheepybunbuns for combing over it as well. Please forgive the blatant PWP-ness of it all. The word count made me do it! :P

***

( Draco couldn’t believe he was back at Hogwarts, of all places )

... please read and comment! I need some ego stroking ;)